Never say die

I am BEAT.

This week we did speedwork, and today was hill repeats. And no, I haven’t taken a break yet. I’ve gone 3 weeks straight with only one day of rest. I am on the verge of a major burnout.

I found out my problem is I have a MASSIVE fear of quitting. Today I woke up and knew I did not want to go to practice. I was tired, my legs were super sore, I pulled a muscle in my hip, and my knees were popping. But I couldn’t stand the idea of having to give my coach an excuse as to why I didn’t show up. So I went. When I found out we were doing hill repeats, I wanted to cry. So during the whole warm up, I was coming up with reasons why I couldn’t do them. None of them seemed viable to me, and again, I couldn’t stand the idea of giving my coach some lame excuse.

So we got out there, warmed up, and I was waaay behind everybody. I haven’t run that slow in a long time. I felt like I was trying to run underwater. My quads hurt with every hill, even just in the warm ups, and my hip muscles were tense and sore. I was breathing fine, not gasping for air much, but my legs just didn’t want to work.

Then the warm up was finished and our coach was standing there, telling us to head out for the hill repeats. Over and over in my head, I had thought about how I was going to walk up to him after the warm up and tell him I hadn’t taken a break in 3 weeks and I was sore, hurting, and tired. And there was my chance… And I just ran right by him and started my hill repeats. I finished one, and was mustering up the courage to talk to the coach again as I reached the top of the hill loop. He pulled me aside, gave me pointers on my stride, then told me to head out again. So I did. On the fourth time around, I was sure that I’d be done by then. We usually just did 4 hill repeats anyways. So I got to the top, slowed my pace slightly… then realized he wasn’t telling me to head in. So I just kept going.

I don’t know how I did it or why I did it, but I managed to finish 5 laps around the hill loops with the rest of the team (and not far behind everyone, I now realize). It was when he sent us out for a very slow cool down that I finally called it quits. I was running with the group, keeping up with them, breathing fine, but my hip was killing me, and my resolve finally broke. I mumbled something about my hip hurting, turned right around, and ran back to the coach’s office.

I didn’t really ever tell him that I was hurting or tired or anything. He just thinks I’m slow now. But I rather have him think that than think I’m a quitter. Next week, after a few days rest, I’ll show up to practice and prove to him that I’m not slow. And that I’m not a quitter.

Meanwhile, this weekend I’m going camping, and I’m taking that opportunity to REST and RELAX. I’ll do some moderate hiking and rock climbing, but I’m giving my legs a break for the most part.

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 07/30/2008
• Time: 08:51:40
• Total Time: 00:46:25.00
• Calories: 505
• Distance: 5.1 miles
• Average Pace: 9:06.28/mile

Workout:

• Type: Cycle
• Date: 07/30/2008
• Time: 08:50:52
• Total Time: 00:15:00.00
• Calories: 75
• Distance: 3.2 miles
• Average Speed: 12.8 mph

Workout:

• Type: General Cardio
• Date: 07/29/2008
• Time: 12:51:02
• Total Time: 00:17:00.00
• Calories: 165

I pulled a muscle in my back…

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 07/29/2008
• Time: 08:43:16
• Total Time: 00:50:56.00
• Calories: 575
• Distance: 5.75 miles
• Average Pace: 8:51.76/mile

We did speedwork today, and so I decided to do some physical therapy to backit up. I might be a little sore tomorrow…

Workout:

• Type: Strength Training
• Date: 07/28/2008
• Time: 19:18:18
• Total Time: 00:25:00.00
• Calories: 75

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 07/28/2008
• Time: 07:54:25
• Total Time: 00:37:52.00
• Calories: 400
• Distance: 4.37 miles
• Average Pace: 8:40.23/mile

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 07/27/2008
• Time: 09:11:01
• Total Time: 1:42:52.00
• Calories: 1000
• Distance: 10.17 miles
• Average Pace: 10:07.08/mile

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 07/25/2008
• Time: 12:48:46
• Total Time: 00:20:40.00
• Calories: 235
• Distance: 2.38 miles
• Average Pace: 8:40.98/mile

Real eaasy run with my friend. Thought I’d be super sore, since I was really really sore this morning, and really pushed it to keep up with the group. Instead, it just felt good. I’ve missed running on the bike paths in town. I’m looking forward to my long run this weekend. I’m hoping to do 11.5 miles so I’m just going to go all over downtown and the new side and just everywhere. Should be fun.

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 07/24/2008
• Time: 21:36:40
• Total Time: 00:36:42.00
• Calories: 400
• Distance: 4.05 miles
• Average Pace: 9:03.81/mile

The distance is just an estimate based on my pace.

Anyways, so attitude is 90%, that’s the truth. After yesterday’s run, I was feeling much more ready to get out there and kick my butt into shape. Today, I kept up with two of the girls who were on the cross-country team last year. Not only that, but the three of us caught up to the group of guys that are running with the girls team, unattached.

And I must say, keeping up with them all was a LOT harder today. Believe it or not, the physical therapy stuff I did with my legs yesterday really made them SORE. I woke up and my quads were so stiff it hurt. Getting out on the cross-country course and doing those hills pretty much did me in for the day. But my goal is to go out and do 3 miles this evening… I’m trying to kill myself, apparently.

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 07/24/2008
• Time: 08:09:47
• Total Time: 00:40:39.00
• Calories: 550
• Distance: 5.15 miles
• Average Pace: 7:53.68/mile